Tuesday, 25 October 2016
And, as it is written that pester power shall always triumph, they headed to the Beaker Bazaar and shelled out their 90 quids to buy the mythological soft toys.
And they headed into the Moot House, to join the unicorns of assorted gender, and binary or non-binary self-identification, pan-sexual, same-sexual and asexual as the choice moved them. Many of them just identified as "unicorns".
So many unicorns, indeed, that the Moot House filled with unicorns. No space for anything but unicorns. None of us could get in there. The Moot House was full of plushness. Where, we wondered, could we go from here? How could the Moot House be more unicorn or plusher?
And then Maygray wandered down the Corridor of Uncertainty into the Moot House door, and shoved one more unicorn into the mix. Just one more plush unicorn.
What could possibly happen?
Monday, 24 October 2016
All: Things no English person should have known until 9pm BST.
Archdruid: Let those who have ears to hear, shut them up.
All: Like the ears of the brazen serpent,
Archdruid: Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers.
All: Charm they ever so wisely.
Archdruid: Let us be like those who have eyes but do not see.
All: Unless they look on Twitter and...
Archdruid: You've done it haven't you?
All: We have seen and now we repent on the ground in dust and ashes.
Archdruid: We have become even like unto the Likely Lads.
All: Those who in the time of our fathers and mothers tried not to hear whether England had won the match.
Archdruid: And Facebook and Twitter and people at work..
All: ....have become to us like Brian Glover.
Archdruid: Tell it not in Alexandria.
All: Proclaim it not in Atlanta.
B52s: We're heading down the Atlanta Highway....
All: Looking for the love getaway.
Archdruid: Get out of it, O B52s of "Rock Lobster" fame. If you'd had appeared in "Walking Dead" you'd have ruined an entire series.
All: Although maybe supplied that vital hint of camp that is so missing among the drabness, grimness, blood and brainless zombies?
B52s: Love Shack, baby, yeah!
All: Love Shack, baby!
Archdruid: Go in peace, to look away from the screen.
All: Lucille, why can't you be true?
Archdruid: It's England 2, Bulgaria Nil.
All: And we know just how those Bulgarians feel.
I'm pleased to announce it's "Stacking the Dishwasher Efficiently." Not in any of Paul's lists, but then let's fact it, they didn't have dishwashers.
Sunday, 23 October 2016
Drayton Parslow, of course, was deeply disapproving when he heard about this. Although he's been busy. He wanted to go and picket the Life Drawing class at the Reading Room. Says this is the sort of thing Husborne Crawley has been reduced to. But then he changed his mind at the last minute, in case he met any nude people. Odd, I didn't imagine they'd turn up nude. And I thought it was just meant to be the models, not the artists as well. Drayton says we're becoming more like the Cities of the Plain every day. I presume he means Sodom and Gomorrah, not Luton and Stansted.
Our Father everlasting
The all creating One God Almighty
Through Your Holy Spirit
Conceiving Christ the Son
Jesus our Saviour
Is it possible that, through the determined effort to avoid mentioning the source of Jesus's human nature (his mum) this song has descended into grammatical nonsense and a particularly weird kind of heresy? Answers on a CD please. (Hint - I think the word required here was "begetting").
That's why we opted for non-status-based liturgy today. We put the words up with the green text for the leader and the red text for the congregation.
I would like to apologise to all the people who have colour blindness. And all the people who identify as colour blind. It must have been very confusing for you all.
Saturday, 22 October 2016
Friday, 21 October 2016
What a lovely children's service we had today. Would especially like to say the portrayal of the story of Noah was charming.
Poor little Alfie the Unicorn- forgot what day the Flood was, and left behind at the end as the Ark sailed off. Not a dry eye I'm not sure if the Genesis account does include Alfie's bodily assumption into heaven. But if it doesn't, it ought to. I'm sure the Pope could sort something out.
And of course it was important that, just as the waves lapped at Alfie's feet, God intervened like that. Because it reinforced the message that there is always a happy ending, because we're worth it.
And Alfie was a real winner with the kids. A three-foot tall, plush unicorn with a winning look. Makes you wonder how Noah could ever forget such a sweety.